This is what you get when you order a couple of chili cheese coneys, sans buns, at Sonic.

I mean, I appreciate that they were so enthusiastic about accommodating my no-bun request.

I was less appreciative of how ashamed I felt when I ate it.

Ate THEM.

In my defense, this is what happens when my wife travels for work and I’m left to fend like a bachelor.

Go through all the trouble of cooking (and cleaning) for one? Pshaw.

I’d much rather eat forbidden fast food — or cereal for dinner! FOR DINNER!! — like a gluttonous 8-year-old queen-for-a-day.

Wouldn’t you?

Before you saw that picture, obviously.