Reset Sleep Almost Makes Me Believe In God

Maybe I should eat an amazing steak dinner and watch a few hours of The Venture Bros. every night. Or was it the ice cream sundae for dessert?

In any case, last night I was yawning by midnight-thirty and in bed before 1am. After a brief phone check-in with the farflung wife, I assumed the Rip Van Winkel position and didn’t wake up until after noon today.

NOON, people. 12:16 PM.

For a fraction of a second, I was disappointed that I’d missed the chance to catch up on my photo challenge. I’m a few days behind and needed to capture something for “Morning,” the next prompt. My superego started to grumble,

“Now you’re going to be anotherday behind…what was the point of…never finish anything…fart snort fail…”

But then my smart brain was all Mr. Scrooge on Christmas Morning,

“Look at that sunshine! Feel that breeze! My neck doesn’t hurt! A whole day — nay, a whole life — of possibility and promise is stretching out before us like God’s own red carpet! Walk it!”

And now I’m eating bagged asian broccoli slaw straight out of the mixing bowl and reclining on the couch with my keyboard on my lap, using the tv as the world’s most giantest computer screen, to draft this.

Today, I don’t have to walk or feed anybody.

Today, I don’t have to be anywhere, at any particular time, for any reason.

Today, anything I choose to do in service of my self, my home, or my community will come from a place of simple benediction.

Intermittent pet-free bachelorette-hood agrees with me.

From reading Cosmo (purely anthropological), though, I think the average bachelorette-hood involves a lot more blowjobs and angst. So by their standards, I am probably not doing this right.

By their standards, zero blowjobs and zero angst mean I am dead.

On any other day, that might also go to explain my bloat and pallor and torpor.

But today, it’s just GOOD.

by Mitch O’Connell |

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